Ron

Dear Calculations Infinite & Divine (CC: Ron, Albert),

Thank you for your recent correspondence, and entrusting me with executing your final decision in the matter of the state of affairs within Emporium pertaining to Orbital relations. Below is my summary of the most recent updates:

• The Committee of Internal Affairs Concerning Coo-Coos, Cryptids, Employees, and Entities Otherwise Defined (henceforth referred to as “the Committee”) have been proceeding better than initial predictions. Brand Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary Ron/Bill/Vince/John/Rob/Tom/Bob/Phil (henceforth referred to as “Ron”) has gone above and beyond in their dedication to getting more reticent Entities involved in discussions, including:
  • Investigating all grievances and claims (both positive and negative) brought before the Committee, either through his team or himself; identifying no fewer than 18 distinct sources of direct threat or administrative frustration over the current season
  • Risking mortal peril to disarm a notably violent subset of the Coo-Coos still present in Emporium
  • Initiating engagement activities to foster trust within the Emporium community, including a Sports Day. All bloodsports during this event were tactfully banned to avoid exciting the more violently excitable Entities participating
• Ongoing discussions about the changing goals of Emporium and the future of the Orbital-Emporium relationship. No final decisions have been made at this stage in light of the mutually agreed priority of resolving active threats as priority

I will send more updates as the situation continues to unfold.

Kind regards,
Hildegard Destroyer
Orbital Negotiator


Dear Calculations Infinite & Divine (CC: Ron, Albert),

My apologies for waiting a season to send you a full update. Negotiations and all activities leading to them have been fraught. I will keep this as brief as I can:

• Committee activities are an ongoing success. Unexpected and/or nonconsensual instances of violence within Emporium have decreased by 27% (figures attached)
• After much negotiation with Ron, facilitated and supported by Albert, aided by statistics and further input from inadequate former secretary Frey Wheeler and their sponsor, Egbert, we have reached consensus on the matter of the Orbital-Emporium contract. To remain what they have determined to be sustainable, Emporium is choosing to scale back operations. As this is in direct violation of previous agreements, and would not lead to ongoing growth in revenue, I have determined this to be an unfavourable contract to maintain. Per your instructions in this case, I have signed preliminary documents to this effect, thus beginning the process of terminating the Orbital-Emporium contract. Final documents are enclosed for your most ascendant of signatures at your earliest convenience
• While official relations have ceased, I will remain here until the proceedings have reached an end and all Orbital staff have been removed from the premises and management structure, ensuring handover is smooth

Though this outcome is disappointing, these negotiations were completed on amicable terms. It will be interesting to see how many of your calculations regarding the potential Emporium evolutions come to pass.

Kind regards,
Hilda


Dear Calculations Infinite & Divine (CC: Ron, Albert, Egbert),

I am writing this immediately before I depart Emporium. At the risk of being sentimental, this departure is bittersweet. Emporium management's collaboration with residents and employees is leading to more direct and even discussions between different levels within (or beyond) the hierarchy. With understanding that power is held by everyone at the negotiating table, changes to how Emporium deals with Entities at all levels are already beginning to solidify, thanks in no small part to Ron's efforts to ensure transparency and fairness throughout. Watching him win ground slowly but surely has been remarkable, alongside his determination in the face of doubts on all sides.

From previous negotiations at other locations, my professional opinion is that this Committee is on its way to solidifying into a full Union. I do not doubt that Ron will ensure a fair outcome. They have so far, and they are only gaining momentum.

To conclude: it has been a frustrating assignment, but a strangely enjoyable one too. Perhaps next time I will visit Emporium not as part of an assignment but as a customer.

Per your instructions, I will ensure that Spreadsheet is also removed from the premises before I depart. Xie has been extremely reluctant to leave, but I will pry her away with a crowbar if I must.

Kind regards,
Hilda

Look, we both know how this goes in theory. I give you a great spiel about all the things you never knew you wanted to buy for your planet, and you come in and be the best deity you can be by getting all of them, only selling a few mountains and a hundred years of history to do it.

That was the old Emporium. I'm not going to lie - we've still got to charge you to keep things balanced. But this isn't just a place for deities and fundamentals, the movers and shakers in a universe. Enough people - and yes, I do mean people, not just Entities - have washed up in the parking lot of Emporium without a world to their name. The old Emporium might have looked the other way while they made whole communities in the Warehouse.

The new Emporium's more interested in lending a helping hand. We want to make sure to bring you what you need, not something we want you to want. Have you been displaced from your world and need a way to get back? Emporium can help subsidise that travel. Are all your galaxies shrivelling from an invasive fungus? We can subsidise that too.

We want to help you make your homeplane a place you can call home. If you're here to get a can't-live-without-it necessity, we'll do everything in our power to try and get that to you. No matter your budget.

– Advert from “The New Emporium” ad campaign, led by Ron/Bill/Vince/John/Rob/Tom/Bob/Phil

Also attached: a series of graphs indicating increase in Emporium customer satisfaction, including a direct correlation with overall average decrease in danger levels from customers returning with one (1) or more purchase(s) from Emporium

When you are given a job, you are equal. When you enter a meeting, you are equal. When you are stranded, you are equal. You should not need to beg to be treated as an equal. You have as much value as anyone else. You deserve your seat at the table, because you are sitting with equals.

Every worker deserves to be treated as the equal they are. Everyone is important. That includes YOU.

– Transcript from a viral multiverse workers' rights rally ad campaign, organised and distributed by Ron/Bill/Vince/John/Rob/Tom/Bob/Phil


“… We've all heard the “i” word being used. How many times have you heard a boss say 'there's no “i” in “team”'? I'm here to tell you that they're completely right - they just don't know it! See, “i” isn't you, or me. The “i” word is “impossible”, and I'm here to tell you something I know you all know: “impossible” is just a word.

“Whenever someone tells you that it's “impossible” to find you a job, or “impossible” to let you work less than 48 hours a day without a break, or “impossible” to listen to what you have to say, that someone doesn't understand - or doesn't want to understand - that the only one saying that something is “impossible” is them.

“When we work alone, it's easy to think that we're powerless. It's easy to look at all these obstacles and say that maybe it is impossible after all. But look around you! We're in a crowd so big that screens have had to be put all over the planet just so all the attendees of this rally can stay connected during this event. Our numbers are beyond trillions. We are countless because the multiverse is infinite and we are everywhere. Those just like us, who want to be treated like they belong, who are just as equal as anyone else at work, at home, outside, anywhere we step foot.

“You are not alone. None of us are alone. When we forget that, we give up some of the power we have and forget that we are powerful too.

“Next time your boss tells you it's “impossible” to give you the fair treatment you deserve, remember that the multiverse is changing, that you are part of an uncountably large community that's already changing how workplaces treat their workers, no matter the job those workers are doing. We've already seen the “impossible” working just fine in Emporium! How many other places can start making these changes for the good of all their workers? How many can push back against the “impossible”?

“Remember that nothing is “impossible”.”

– Speech delivered at a workers' rally by Ron/Bill/Vince/John/Rob/Tom/Bob/Phil as part of multiverse workers' rights campaign to a crowd of approximately 3 billion tiny fluffball workers. The recorded standing ovation time is 12 minutes, 13.92 seconds. Following this campaign, workplaces continue to change their practices and treatment to workers, reducing power imbalance in an increasing number of workplaces multiverse-wide