Playing a Customer

Worlds shake where you tread. Songs are written to applaud your deeds and sung around campfires in the dead of night. You are the monster children are told stories about to make them behave better, the hero in their stories so old no one remembers who penned them anymore; a creator so old the world you created has forgotten how to speak your name and will only remember in its final moments, its destined final word. You are loved, or hated, or perhaps both at once. You are mighty. And you are here to get a bit of shopping done. Even the mighty need to acquire new things sometimes.

Like any store, Emporium would have remarkably little meaning without its customers. From every corner of the multiverse, the entities that comprise Emporium’s customer base are as infinitely variable and unique as the store they’re here to shop in. Entities are powerful and perhaps even universe-changing in their home dimension. However, here in Emporium all customers are equal; as long as you have a way to pay for what you want to buy.

No matter who you are, where you come from, or why you’re here, Emporium welcomes you.

Play a customer if:

• You want to play a character who’s here on a mission - whether that’s to purchase a newer, more aesthetic moon to correct terrible tide issues at home, to buy the most mathematically perfect loaf of garlic bread, or anything else serious or odd
• You want to explore and investigate store oddities whenever you want
• You enjoy a more open, less structured game experience

While employees are here to do a job, customers are here on a mission. It takes a long, long, long time to get to the front of the queue at Emporium, and the entities across the multiverse that are driven to come here are all here because they can’t get what they want back home. As a result, customers could be here for anything from finding an item to resolve their epic quest to save their civilisation, to finding something to make their living room impossibly comfortable.

All you need to become a customer is a way to navigate between universes to reach the store (just three lefts between your nearest planes of existence!) and the willingness to stand in an aeons long queue. It doesn’t matter if you’re here for malevolent or pure reasons. As long as you have enough to pay for what you want to buy, Emporium welcomes you. The details of what you’re paying with and how that process works can be found here.

Just make sure not to violate customer guidelines. Emporium wants to ensure a pleasant shopping experience for customers and a safe working environment for employees. Emporium won’t be as welcoming to Entities who can’t conduct themselves with at least some degree of civility.

As a customer, you’re here to find something. In a regular supermarket, it’s not too arduous to navigate through the aisles to find the specific shelf you want. In an infinite superstore, things aren’t as easy. Aisles are strange, items that seem familiar may not be as familiar as they first pretend to be; and even the right turn may lead to unexpected places.

It’s not going to be straightforward to find what you want. When you take a turn you may find yourself somewhere unexpected and incomprehensible. You may learn something about yourself on the way, and find that what you wanted wasn’t really what you needed along the way. Or perhaps you’ll discover that what you want is something you will do anything to get.

In short: nothing is as simple as it appears in Emporium. The shape of your journey through the store is unlikely to be the same as any other customer’s journey. Therefore, it’s no wonder it may take you a while to find what you’re looking for, no matter how simple or difficult what you seek may be.

Employees are here to help. If you need help, you’re likely to find an employee who’s happy to assist, no matter the request. However, employees also have a lot of different concerns to deal with across this vast superstore. While you are encouraged to talk to employees to get input, direction, or any other kind of help, don’t be surprised if employees choose to politely turn down your request or redirect you to someone in a better position to help. After all, employees want to make sure that the whole store experience is smooth. We’re sure you’ll thank them in the end.

As a customer, you may also meet employees who ask you for help. This can be a useful way to get into employee-only areas, such as the Warehouses or the employee break room, discover unexpected things about Emporium, and get rewards for assisting with Emporium matters. Asking for help isn’t officially endorsed; but it is unofficially standard practice.

While customers are in the store, Emporium asks that you follow guidelines:

1. Please respect store property: do not damage company property, including products that have yet to be sold!
   1. Be aware that employees also count as store property for the purposes of these guidelines. Harassing an employee is also not permissible
2. Please respect other customers to ensure that everyone can have a pleasant shopping experience!
3. Please ensure that you respect the purchase system - don’t try to pay with something your homeworld lacks, and don’t try to leave the store without paying for what you’re leaving with!

These guidelines are in place to help with quality of life for all customers and employees while in the store. Emporium thanks you for your consideration.

Sometimes the appeal of Emporium is just too much for customers, and the next step is obvious: signing up to be a permanent part of the workforce.

Alternatively, as a customer you may be racking up a serious debt from an equally serious shopping spree, and will need some way to work that off. While customers can try and escape paying what they owe, there are enough stories about goods going wrong when they’re taken out of Emporium without fair payment. After waiting for so long to get here, it would be a shame to have your products spoil before you get back to your home dimension; or, worse, spoil your home dimension in a twist of sick irony. Much better to volunteer yourself as an employee to pay off what you owe than to risk it.

A customer is free to talk to a suitable employee representative at any point in their personal channel and request a job application form. There are rumours that there have been unsuccessful applicants; but not even the most seasoned employees can remember this happening.

If you decide in session that you want to become an employee, @ a GM in your personal channel and they will send you a form to fill in. If you get this in before 11.59PM Wednesday of uptime week, a GM will email you a couple of shift options to choose from. As long as you reply before 11.59PM Thursday (i.e. turnsheet deadline) then you’ve got whatever shift you selected and can assume that you’re an employee on your turnsheet. Most questions on the form are optional, excluding general character information so we know who you are, and shifts you definitely don’t want. Any additional questions are intended as an extra bit of roleplaying you can opt into engaging with.

Alternatively, if you want to turnsheet to become an employee, you can submit a minor action to this effect. You will not need to submit an employee application form, but you can choose to request it as a fun additional bit of roleplay. As with other employee characters, you will receive a message on your private channel by Tuesday on downtime week with a couple of shift options to choose from; we’ll send an email out to all employee characters letting you know when these options are available. You must let us know by Thursday at 11.59PM on the off-week what your choice is (e.g. if uptime is 3rd August, you would receive shift options by 10th August, and need to let us know by midnight on 12th August).

If you turnsheet to become an employee, you will not be an employee until the end of your turnsheet. Please do not turnsheet as if you’re already an employee.